This newsletter will grow and change like me
That's a good thing because I learnt a lot from therapy lol
Hello! If I told you about subscribing to this newsletter, then welcome!
I told myself and I told too many people I am going to write more. Do I have any business of sharing my thoughts? No. Am I going to subject you to this because I need a home to share my reflections?
I've been trained to be a salesperson in a past life. So, I'll share with you the features and benefits of this newsletter. You can change your mind to unsubscribe at some point in the future. However, keep up with me. This is a work in progress and it's always changing & evolving. Like subjectively good art, it needs time to nurture.
Talk about it in one sentence
Substack said I need a description of this newsletter. So, I choose this one-liner,
I’m writing about art and work so you don’t have to focus on both of those.
What does this mean?
In the past I neglected my needs as an artist. Therefore, I dedicated time to recover from the burnout.
I wavered my focus from my full time job and my focus from making art because I couldn't decide what was more important.
We okay here?
To spell it out, my generalized anxiety spiraled to the point I got dependent on caffeine to be a superhero Monday through Friday (or Monday through Saturday) to feel in control of my time. And, if I thought I can cheat time to squeeze in art making, my hands and my brain didn't want to put in that effort.
And to STILL wear out my anxiety out of my bones, I would run 3 miles every day. Even if the wind chill cut up and slashed my face.
Do you cope with an anxiety disorder? Good, you're not alone because I'll reflect about it in this newsletter.
Did you have guilt taint your efforts to make art in time of Covid-19? Good, you're not alone. You may be entitled to financial compensation.
Don't get me wrong, artists can make money and they do make money. And really, if more artists would be transparent on how they make money, then these talks wouldn't be painful.
Speaking of painful, I got insight from my last massage therapy appointment. I was told the dull achy pain in my lower back is the cause of my tense glutes. It's not news I wear tension in my neck and shoulders like it’s a beauty queen sash. But c’mon, I literally had a pain in my butt.
We’re all valid
You don't have to be a full-time artist to be validated for your contributions to the world. Personally, I don't think recognition has to be your goal for making art unless it fulfills you.
Money has a sneaky way of measuring things so I feel secure in the choices I made. I said yes to job promotions in the past because as a result, I earned more money. And how I spent money gave me more purchasing power. This, and I had the privilege for saving money for goals.
If you identify as a person that needs to use their creativity to make things, then you could call yourself an artist. If you identify as a person who is an overachiever at your job, then you could call yourself an overachiever.
The nature of me fleshing out the newsletter is to see the grey areas of those identities. It’s the permission to give yourself for not taking yourself too seriously. It’s the permission to be more compassionate in how you operate in the world.
I can go on and on how this Covid-19 pandemic got people to re-prioritize their values. But I’m confident there’s enough essays on the interwebs.
I’m writing for the audience of me
So, you now know where I’m coming from to take the initiative to sign up with Substack. It’s a specific point of view. But, it’s my point of view.
The benefit of this newsletter is to feel less alone in your creative endeavors. Maybe another benefit is to make you laugh. Make you laugh to make you poop your pants? Heh.
Would I talk about anything else? This is also my efforts to forge an intimate connection with the people I trust. Share with y’all what I’m up to (and what I have not been up to). Another feature is I can share links or media that's got me thinking “oh...hey.”
I could touch on personal finance talking points. If you’re not familiar with my consulting, you can click or tap here for my website. I could also reflect on how my last job shaped on habits I learnt (and the habits I need to un-learn).
Thanks! For sharing!
Thanks for Sharing has been my go-to saying to leave a conversation. Is it mean? Well, maybe. I use it with sincerity with the people I love. It’s like how people use “bless your heart” but depending who receives it, the intention can be warm or it can be plain mediocre.
But it’s also a sincere saying that I blow up with love like it’s a clown balloon.
I volunteered on Election Day. That meant hyping up registered voters and being on my feet for ~14 hours. Was I fulfilled? Oh, heck yes.
the booster shot got me feelin’ achy. I’m good now. but, I did a lot of labor with my body these past two weeks. I allowed myself to be horizontal on monday.
I’ll probably touch on this performance piece by Pilvi Takala called The Trainee in the upcoming newsletter. It’s worth scrubbing through the video. Takala spent her time in an accounting firm riding up and down an elevator. That, and sitting at her desk thinking. Her colleagues are unnerved by it all because she looks like she’s doing nothing. That’s the point.
If you consume caffeine, then you maybe have a particular relationship with the stimulant. Michael Pollan quit it for three months when he did the research for his book Caffeine. The article is over here.
I read Sherry Turkle’s Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age. If you’re thinking “why do we need another fucking manifesto about tech hijacking our bodies” then okay, I don’t blame you for rolling your eyes. Hear me out, the book explores how the minutiae of face-to-face talks or even phone calls has its benefits over texts and emails. I’ve had communication hiccups at my last job because I refused to use the phone. But, I got comfortable with picking up the phone - awkward pauses and all. The book also got me thinking critically about office spaces. Like, the book was written before Covid-19. Is it fair to gaslight people that an office truly really had its perks?
And really, sometimes it’s worth just picking up the phone.
Thanks for Listening,