here's advice you didn't ask for because I'm maturing
here's advice you didn't ask for because I'm maturing
when I was your age, we had limewire to download movies and last.fm to stream music
Hello, I cannot believe how many issues we are in for my newsletter, Thanks for Sharing!
On January 17th, I celebrate my birthday!
Unsolicited advice
To celebrate, I will now give you unsolicited advice. Why? You didn’t ask for it, that’s why. There’s exactly 17 items in this list. How will it help you? Who knows!
1. Always discuss in advance how to split up a tab or a check for your meal. Everyone in your party will ease up when they arrive at the restaurant.
2. Try to give your brain less work to do. That means make less decisions that work in your favor. I like to throw my sweatpants and my hoodie on the back of my mirror if I know I will go on a run the next day. Obsessive? Absolutely. I have a home for my keys and wallet. Why bother thinking about these things? Everything has a home and there are no visitors allowed.
3. Sometimes you might feel like you are contributing more work in your relationship or your friendship. Maybe even with a relative! Remember that the work and the effort will not always feel 50/50. If it feels like too much effort, do a check in and explain your needs and wants. Are you missing out on feeling appreciated or feeling heard? If your loved one is in a foggy state of mind, it is OK to put in extra love, care, and tenderness. Honestly, your loved one will do the same if you feel mediocre.
4. Give yourself a minute to place yourself in someone else’s position. I know, I know. It’s not new advice. Put yourself in someone else’s Doc Martens or Blundstones. Then you can be more empathetic. Kindness will always go a long way.
5. Get yourself a cat! Or, get a dog. Being a fur parent is fulfilling. You get to snuggle up with a friend. They become a part of your family. Plus, you can have deep conversations with them. A good one-on-one.
6. Be the one to follow up first! What does this mean? If you need to circle back with someone about the plans you want to make, a decision you gotta think over, or you need to inform your boss the status of a project, then you’ll be known as someone who is reliable.
7. On the flip side, set the expectations if you are not mentally or physically well. If anything, people will take this as a sign to give you space or boundaries. It can even be a way to build trust with the people you care about in your life. Sometimes I can get stuck in my own headspace if I am not feeling 100%. If it’s appropriate to give a heads up, I’ll share “hey I’m not feeling 100%” and leave it at that.
8. Block out time to spend time with loved ones. Life can get busy real quick. If your mind is racing from one task to the next task, then you will lose track of spending uninterrupted quality time with the people you love. Go on a walk! Do a game night! Make a meal together!
9. Speaking of quality time, if you need to make a phone call, do it so you are not multitasking on the phone. Is that strict? Do we not have smartphones? Yes and yes. But people can tell when they are being multi-tasked on. What do I mean by this? Think about how you feel when you face-to-face socialize with another person. Think about how you are on the receiving end of uninterrupted time. Do you feel seen? Do you feel heard? Good. This works in your personal life and in your professional life. I have had job interviews where the interviewer did not give me 100% undivided attention. This honestly sets the tone of a potential employer. Consider a shitty date that you were on. Did you get undivided attention? Have you been multi-tasked on?
10. Carry some cash on you. Is cash filthy? Can a card reader break down in a store? Can the power or the Internet go out? Absolutely. If there’s someone in need, your spare cash could help. It also comes in handy to tip your server. Next time you pay at the pump when you fill your car with gas, pay attention to the prices of the cash discount.
11. If you want to splurge on something, write it down on a list. How about you write multiple items you wish to purchase. OK, now revisit that list a week from now. When you re-read your list, have your feelings changed? Did you really want to purchase that KitchenAid? How about those Yeezys? This is how I avoid buyer’s regret. That shit feeling when you spend money on something you regret. Even then, you can always just return it.
12. Speaking of returns, just return the damn thing. If you can’t return it, re-gift it and give it to someone else. And if you can’t because of poor timing, you can donate it. Maybe your neighborhood or city has a Facebook group to trade or barter goods so they won’t end up in a landfill. Waste not, want not.
13. If you cannot commit a hangout or an event to your calendar, then just don’t schedule it. I used to have a mediocre habit of double booking. It will bite you in the behind. If you need to block out a day to hang out with someone or if you want to schedule alone time to make art, or to even just think, just put in your Google Calendar.
14 . Don’t be busy just so you can feel busy. A lot of entrepreneurs are really weird because they are all about the hustle. I don’t know what that means. Seriously, who dreams of labor? Being busy is not a badge of honor. People will slowly stop inviting you to hangout.
15. If someone corrects you on how to pronounce their name, listen to it, memorize it, and then move on. It is so unseemly to me when I introduce myself as “Alexander” then out of habit the person appoints me as “Alex”. To make the other person memorize it, I make some half ass-joke along the lines of “Well, I take all the letters in my name since it is on my birth certificate!”
16. Address strangers on the phone with their first and last name plus an honorific. You know those titles that are Miss, Mx., or Mr.? Norms about gender don’t make sense to me. However, I got the habit of using honorifics whenever I reached out to prospects over the phone. I now have a habit of using the prefix Mr. when I introduce myself to someone in customer service. It’s antiquated and it’s archaic. Well-seasoned adults appreciate it. People who you speak to on the phone, especially in customer service, will be attentive on how they talk to you. It’s not guaranteed. Though, it helps to be overdressed rather than under-dressed if you want to make a memorable impression. If an honorific rolls of the tongue haphazardly, just address a stranger by their first and last name. Do you personally know them? If not, don’t address them on a first-name basis.
17. If you are adrift or scattered, try taking something away as a solution. Do the subtraction instead of the addition to solve a problem. For example, coffee has been rough on my tummy for the past couple of weeks. I now cut off my caffeine consumption in the afternoon. If it’s 12:00 o’clock or later, I’ll stick with water. People will be quick to add in new solutions to fix their dilemmas, but it is easier to see the results when you take something away. Do you feel like shit after you wake up in the morning? Do less screen time before bed. Do you feel overworked and feel lost about priorities? Cut down on committing to projects. Are you emotionally drained? Spend less time with people until you feel adequate about the time you spend with yourself.
This is the part where y’all scream Thanks for Sharing!
👀
The links I’m sharing in this newsletter are heavy in typography and graphic design. Why? Well, the history of graphic design is concealed in imperialism. Also, I’ve just been researching for a project. I’m thankful there are more POC and queer people contributing their voices. Hope you enjoy them.
There’s the expectation that narratives are told linearly. Maybe it doesn’t have to be the case because we can think nonlinearly.
An example of art that calls attention to the non-linear.
Desktop publishers AKA the Adobe Creative Suite has been advantageous for graphic designers. It fiercely shifted the concepts of learning typography and learning the systems of graphic design.
Here’s a wonderful database of open-source typefaces.
Thanks for listening,
Alexander